Does the Mona Lisa Smile?

There has been a great deal of research done on the dwindling ability of our young to understand facial expressions. When you play with an infant, they become more engaged and animated the more your face alters its expression. They learn how to tell if you are happy or sad or angry because you make those faces. The problem is, with our ever growing computer culture, we are getting less expressive. As a consequence, we are also losing our ability to differentiate the expressions we do receive. The less we interact face to face, the less we understand the myriad of clues our face provides. I'm sure you've had a conversation with a younger person and found them unable to understand your emotional state (either accusing you of yelling when you aren't or not understanding how upset you really are) or found a blank face staring at you insisting that they are devastated. Maybe you are like me and wonder why movies today are full of emotionless mannequins with no ability to emote what their lines seem to be suggesting.

Now why in the world is this relevant to your genealogical research? Well, have you ever run across an unanswerable question only because you cannot justify a relative's actions? You find a relative in an orphanage despite his father living in the same town. Someone in your family owned, sold, or was a slave. They seemed to pick up stakes and move for no reason beyond it was a Tuesday. Sometimes, you know why they did what they did; or at least you think you do. What you are really wondering about is how it must've felt. You are looking for an emotional "why". The problem is, you are looking at a 19th century life with 21st century eyes. You are the stone faced teen unable to read what's clearly written on your ancestor's countenance.

So you end up with a brick wall. Not so much out of lack of information, but a lack of understanding. You stare blankly at a document telling you where your ancestor lived, died or worked and it makes no sense. What do you do? Well, don't take this the wrong way, but you READ. This can be as simple as looking on Wikipedia for a historical sketch of the time and/or place your ancestor lived in. It can be an in depth look at the history of the founding of a town or mass exodus of a people. Or it can be my favorite kind of reading: classic works of fiction for fun. If you truly want to know how your family felt and thought, pick up an author from their time and country and read. Historical works are fine and good, but are often written in hindsight and always from the winning side; so keep that in mind. And a fictional story from a contemporary writer is usually the easiest way to tap into the communal attitudes of the time. One of my favorite authors, Dickens, has a myriad of fictional works that can put the reader smack dab into the middle of English life in the 19th century. Bringing to light the foul treatment of children and poor families, his works tug at our hearts and open a window into the world in which he (and many ancestors) lived. To read Dickens is to understand the social order and philosophy of his world. Want to know how it felt to be a slave? Read the accounts of freed slaves like Frederick Douglass. What was the attitude of whites during slavery? Read a white author born and raised in the time of slavery, especially if they have black characters in their narratives (ever read Crusoe?). Curious as to the treatment of women? There are several women authors throughout history who delve into issues important to them in both fiction and nonfiction. It doesn't take much perusal of Jane Austin to know how bored she must've been with her life. Suffragette pamphlets, while biased, can make for a fun read and really enlighten you to the discord felt by women (especially after WWI when many had tasted work outside of the home for the first time). Read a medical journal on women's health and find yourself shocked (and a little amused) at what the "leading minds" thought caused women to be sick (hint: it was usually because of a faulty uterus). Moreover, fostering a love of literature will enrich your life and provide you with a broader cultural awareness. And who doesn't want that?

In the research on facial recognition, scientists found that the more expressions a person was exposed to, the better their ability to differentiate them. The same can be said for a well-read person. The more time periods you choose to read from/about, the more you choose differing ideals and philosophies, the greater your chance on picking up the subtle clues in your family's past. By exercising your literacy, you also exercise your cognitive abilities. Exposure to a vast array of ideas only helps you to hone your own reasoning skills to a finer edge. Everyone should read more books!

Now, I have no problem helping people with their brick walls or understanding their ancestors. "Ask and you shall receive" has always been a mantra of mine. But I think people have forgotten, or never knew, how to research. I have gone to actual courthouses and societies to do research, but 90% of what I do to help others is online. When I am asked a question on Ancestry's Facebook page, I'm going to Google anything I don't readily know. Most of the questions I answer for others are things they could find within 20 minutes of a simple Internet search. Sometimes it takes a special knowledge of the time or place in question, but not always. When you run into a question, your first stop should be a Google search. The answer may be readily available to you with nothing but a few keystrokes. Can't find it or still confused? Now ask for help. But ask correctly. When you ask another to help in your research, tell them what you know right now (names, dates, locations), where you've already looked and what specifically you want to know. I can't give that bit of advice enough. Asking a generally vague question will get back vague answers if any answer at all. And always remember that how we feel about a situation isn't how our ancestors felt. They may have been good people in a bad situation.... but they could've also been bad people making their own situation worse.

Ours is not to judge, but to learn.

-Ana

"I'm Related to Constantine!" and Other Things Not to Be Said Lightly

I doubt there is a human alive who does not have a deep-seated need to feel important. If we cannot do something special in our own life, we like to think that someone in our line has been of value to the world. While many of us rejoice in knowing any and all of our family history, to some others, their history will never be complete without a connection or two of a royal, native, or celebrity to illuminate their branches. They will accept half-truths and ignore contradictions to get it, too. And while you may legitimately have a claim, there are certain things that should never be said. Or at least have personal research and documentation in hand to back it up!

Coats of Arms
 "Here's my family Coat of Arms." "My surname is directly descended from _ and it means _"

Thanks to this website, I made my own coat of arms, motto and all!



Interestingly, this seemingly harmless error is also a very prolific one. If you are displaying a coat of arms for your surname, I have bad news for you. Traditionally in the U.K., Ireland and most of western Europe, the coat of arms is only to be passed on to direct-line male descendants of the original person to whom they were presented. They are not, I repeat not, simply attached to anyone with that surname. France and Germany have different rules. In the case of France, since becoming a republic, they don't bother with coats of arms. Germany used to give them away or have them bought. Many coats of arms are for cities and provinces, not families. Just because you have the surname that is attached to a coat of arms, doesn't mean you have the right to display it. If you believe you have the right to these arms, you should investigate the male line as far back as you can and contact the heraldic authority of the issuing country to confirm.

Surname histories and certificates fall into this same trap. These usually include a coat of arms in them, which should be a tip-off of their disingenuousness. The problem with surname histories lays primarily in the fact that surnames are inconsistent in morphology and origin. Since so many languages have similar bases (romance languages like Spanish, Italian, French and Romanian being formed from Latin for example), a name may be hard to pin down to one locality or meaning. There are hundreds of books and sites dedicated to telling you about your surname's illustrious history, however. So I decided to take my surnames and check them out. I used a few surname sources I found by Googling "surname history". Here's the list and what they told me about each of my surnames I tried. I used Gibson (which I presumed English), Householder (known German), Kemper (known German), Berrio (presumed Italian based on originator of the surname in our family), and Lavinsky which was the Americanised version our original surame Levingskas (known Lithuanian).

• Ancestry.com- Gibson- Scottish/English- Son of Gibb; Householder- Americanised Haushalter- Steward of an Estate; Kemper- German, peasant farmer; Berrio- Basque- new or variant of Barrios- Spanish/Arabic- slum; Lavinski had no meaning, but did show me a breakdown of census information of people with the surname (no Levingskas found)
• Ancestor Search- Gibson- Scottish- Son of Gilbert or Gib; Householder and Haushalter- not found; Kemper- not found; Berrio- not found; Lavinski/Levingskas- not found
• Behind the Name- Gibson- Scottish/English- Son of Gib; Householder and Haushalter- not found; Kemper- not found; Berrio- not found; Lavinski/Levingskas- not found
• Surname Database- Gibson- Scottish/English- Son of Gilbert (noted the Germanic origins of Gilbert just to confuse me I think); Householder and Haushalter- not found; Kemper- not found; Berrio- not found; Lavinski/Levingskas- not found
• House of Names- Gibson- German/Scottish- Son of Gibb (and then goes to tell me how I can pay for a slew of information including famous Gibsons who ironically are on both the German and Scottish surname report); Householder- English, Haushalter- not found; Kemper- Dutch/English- comber of wool or flax; Berrio- Spanish- a barrier/gate/or fence; Lavinski- Polish- Lion (no Levingskas found)

Two interesting points. First, according to the Genealogy of the Kemper Family book by Willis Miller Kemper and Harry Linn Wright, Kemper is supposed to be German for warrior. Second, even though Ancestry didn't have a lot of information on each surname, they did show a breakdown of census information like what countries the surname immigrated from, what occupations they held in the states and average lifespan based on death records. So while I wouldn't take it's origin information as gospel (or even assume that all people with that surname are related), the demographic information was kind of neat.

Royalty

"I've traced my family back to 1066 A.D. and William the Conqueror" "I'm directly descended from Constantine!" "I'm 9th cousins 4x's removed from Kate Middleton, OMG"

What exactly is the probability that the average American is related to royalty? Well, the fact is the odds of a royal connection becomes higher the farther back the connection. It also doesn't hurt if your family has been or is wealthy. I tried to find a reliable source on the probability and what research has been done, but what I mainly found was sites advertising books telling me that a lot of Americans are descended from royalty. I found claims for up to 15 million people being related to Kate and William and at least half of America is supposed to be related to Edward III or Charlemagne. What I found odd, was that many seemed to use Burke's Peerage as a source! Despite the fact that you can still find Burke's around online, the name has been sold from it's original owner who was infamous for fraudulent lineages, liquidated and sold off. Why anyone would trust them is beyond me.

There are ways to prove a royal connection, though. DNA is the most reliable, in as much as even if you were related to an illegitimate child, it'll come up in the markers. However, they aren't taking DNA from the dead royals to make the list, but living, provable descendants. As always, there's still a lot of guess work in this method. To be sure, the more people use this option, the better the database becomes. I am interested in the possibilities of DNA testing for genealogical research, but I've not yet taken a test. I've been told I should since the autosomal tests can break down ethnicity. Mitochondrial and Y chromosome tests are more reliable since those markers don't mutate as often, but only trace the mother to daughter, father to son connection. I have heard that every living person has a common ancestor of some 5,000 years ago; so in reality, we're all related and in that way, we are all related to royalty. So finding out you are related to Genghis Khan suddenly doesn't look so special, does it? And of course, there is always the pitfall of finding out you aren't who you think you are. I doubt any family is 100% sure of paternity from start to finish.

The common way to trace royalty is to find corroborating documents. The thing is, because of wars and natural disasters destroying documents, most people will only be able to trace their lineage to the 1800's. Even if you are lucky to go farther back due to the fact of an influential family line, you may only get to about the 1600's. It's so remote a possibility of going any farther back that most researchers will consider it impossible. So even if you are related to Charlemagne (742-814 A.D.), you may never find the documents to prove it. And don't take other people's word for it! Their research can be riddled with the erroneous data from vanity genealogies. Take their data and track down their sources, but never just accept it.

And saying you're a X cousin X times removed from a royal will mean almost nothing to many people. The average person won't understand what you mean and even more won't care. So you're the 10th cousin 5 times removed of some Nordic princess, how diluted is that bloodline? Does she even count as family then??? Will your family care or have a glazed look as they murmur, "oh cool."? Sadly, even after all that I've said, I know that many people will run out just to find that royal connection and prattle it back at anyone willing (or forced) to listen. Why are we so in love with royalty?

I blame Disney.

The "Lost" Indian Connection
First, let's start out with a phrase you should never use: "My grandmother was a Cherokee princess." Even if you have Native ancestors, this phrase will be dismissed out of hand by any serious researcher as misinformed and unsourced! The truth is there is no such thing as an Indian princess. It's a misnomer and the reasons why it came into use are vast. They also don't matter. Just don't say it.

I once wondered why it was always a Cherokee connection. Truth is, the Cherokee were once one of the most prolific tribes out there. The possibility for intermarriage was high, so if you do have a Native ancestor, the likelihood of it being a Cherokee is high. On the other hand, there were many tribes, so if you don't know for sure, it's best to keep your mouth shut until you do. There are specific hurdles to finding a Native link, and for a while it was in vogue to say you were somehow related to an Indian even if untrue; and just like royalty, you need to do your research. If you can't find the link, it may still be true, but you want to preface yourself with "the family rumor is that grandma was an Indian."

Lastly,
The Internet Genealogists for Quality have a list of quality guidelines that should be read and espoused by every researcher from day one of their journey. I recommend you view the link and take a moment to contemplate the quality of your own research.

And when you do go out in the world and tell people about your fantastic finds, be prepared for the skeptics. The false genealogies are so prolific, it is easier (and advised) to ignore any researcher who claims a distant link to a famous person or line. Too many times, a new researcher will see someone else's tree and find that connection and accept it without question. Always question. Even if it's your grandfather and he's been doing this for 30 years. He may have bought a surname book and based half his work on it. Or he may have made leaps of faith in his research, ignoring contradictions and omissions of facts. If you do want to share your success, the best way to do it is to have your facts right in the statement, "Thanks to a letter from the Duke of Windsor dated 1920, to his cousin, my grandmother, I was able to finally make that royal connection!" goes over a lot better than "My 50th grandfather was (insert famous name here)!"

As always, good luck and have fun!
-Ana

For Better or For Worse- Finding a Marriage Record

Cousin Jack and his bride Heather

One of the most sought after documents in our family tree is the marriage record. This one little thing can help answer so many questions. Ages, full names, the wife's maiden name and, naturally, the date of the marriage. How do you find this important piece of paper? And what's the difference in obtaining an index, record, license, or certificate?

First, let's discuss the different forms of marriage records that you will come across and what you'll most likely find. The Marriage Index is usually a searchable database or record book (Marriage Register) of all marriages performed in a certain area for a certain time. This record usually includes the names of the bride and groom and the date of marriage, but little else. A Consent Affidavit would be a form filled out by a parent or guardian of an underage groom/bride to prove that the marriage contract was accepted by an adult who understood the consequences of marriage. Not all marriages required one to be written, some only needed a verbal consent. So you may not find this in your search. A Declaration of Intent is a written or verbal statement that these two people want to marry and are legally able to do so. Banns and Intentions were published documents declaring the intent of the couple to marry and a challenge should anyone object. Churches usually read aloud the Banns ("if anyone objects to this union....") during services/the ceremony. Intentions were usually posted in a public forum (like an newspaper engagement notice today) so the locals had the opportunity to object. These weren't always required, so again, you may not find them for your records. Bonds were usually a document of a fee that the groom and/or the father/brother of the bride posted to off-set litigation costs should the marriage be nullified. If your record has this, it's a great place to find names of the bride's relatives or guardians. Marriage Licenses are the most common and usually have the most information. These were usually filled out and returned to the county clerk for filing, so you will usually find these in the county records office. They could include names, ages, dates, witness/guardian names, races, and residence information. Licenses are usually confused for Certificates, which are the papers that are given/mailed to the couple and kept in their records as proof of their union. These are usually found in your family's files and may not have all the information a License has.

To find the record you're looking for, you need to know where to look. The most obvious place is going to be where the couple was living prior to their marriage. You can find clues in censuses to where they lived (some years even asked for the year or length of marriage) and go from there. Now, I have one word of caution on this: some people would travel great distances (one or two states over) if they wanted to get married quicker or with fewer legal complications. For example: my grandparents married in Clay County, Arkansas. Clay county became a "marriage mecca", because it allowed marriages to wave the three day wait if there was a special reason (and to the judge in Clay county, all marriages were special!). So even though they lived in Indiana, they went south with their witnesses so they could marry right away. Keep an open mind in your searches if you don't find the record where you think it should be.

What if you can't find an official record? Well, you can try churches in their area. Sometimes there may not have been an official depository for marriage records. Territories didn't have a "government" as we know it, so the churches would perform marriages and keep the records. Also peruse newspapers. Now, not all newspapers are online. And there's no main database. So you may need to go to a library, contact a historical society, or contact local newspapers to find an archive. Not everyone announced an engagement/marriage, so you may not get the answers you want.

When did people start recording marriages officially? Well, that'll depend on the area. Most marriage records will be at county level. You can Google search "vital records" of whatever location you are looking for and a link or two will come up telling when records started to be kept, where to find them, and how to contact the office to request a copy. With few exceptions, most vital records will have began sometime in the 1800's for the States. Some a little sooner, some a little later. Ancestry has many marriage indexes and even has some images. If they don't have a copy of the actual record, they usually have a link on how to order it, so it's an excellent first stop.

Because this record can hold so much detail about someone's adult life, especially women, it can be the holy grail for some researchers trying to make that next big leap back. Don't be discouraged if you don't find it right away, or if it doesn't have all that you need on it. In the end, it is one piece of a very large puzzle. There is more than one road into Rome.

-Ana

Time Is Short

Crystal Hood-Pawlak 5/25/80-2/6/12

On Monday, February 6, 2012, my cousin Crystal passed away. At a mere 32 years of age, with a loving husband and five beautiful children, she was taken from this world by a heart attack. She was planning a renewal of her vows. Had even picked out a wedding dress. The last Facebook post I saw from her was Saturday. She was excited about possibly getting her federal tax return and finally purchasing a house after many setbacks. We laid her to rest today. Gathering as a family, some of us not seeing each other except for funerals and weddings, put us all in the mood to remember the fragile threads that hold us to this life. I had talked with Crystal about sitting down to get her story for my family tree, but we hadn't picked a time. It seemed that this week was too busy and next week was always just around the corner. There are things she'll never share with any of us, and the loss is profound.


If you have been doing any sort of genealogy for more than a year, you should have a great number of photos and stories from your relatives. Your tree may have some dead ends, but mostly it flourishes and grows almost every day. And yet, how much information about yourself have you documented? Do you have a journal? Do you keep records of your moves, your jobs, your interests? Even if it's not online in your tree, do you have birthdays and anniversaries for yourself and immediate family written somewhere? And what of your extensive research into your family's past? Can someone pick up right where you left off when you shuffle loose the mortal coil? Or will all you've done be lost and forgotten?

In order to protect our privacy, U.S. Census records aren't published until 72 years have passed. Now, you may think, "I'll be in my 70's or 80's, but still around. How cool!" But in reality, you may not be. How not cool. Other records in different states and countries around the world are kept private for 100 years (sometimes more) to protect the living. How long will your grandchildren have to wait for the answers you are able to supply right here and now? If you could talk to your ancestors, what questions would you wish you could get answered? Answer them now for the next generation.

Ancestry provides blank templates for censuses up to 1940. The U.S. Census Bureau has a great read called Measuring America: The Decennial Censuses From 1790 to 2000. This can provide you with information of every census and what was asked. Take the time to make a "report" of your life for these censuses so that your family won't have to wait 72 years to know who you were! And go beyond a census, write a journal if you can. Use a digital recorder or camera to record yourself and your life. Tell your story to people not yet here. Let them see and hear and feel who you are. I have always said that the only way to live a life without regret is to never let a secret lie buried, a hurt unhealed, or a thought unsaid. Even if you can't let those who know you now know something about you, it could be the answer your great great grandchildren will need.

My grandfather Gibson kept a daily record of most of his adult life. He could tell you how much he paid for anything to the penny. He wrote about birthdays, anniversaries, funerals, weddings..... heck, he wrote about how many tulips were planted in my grandmother's garden! These were little, inconsequential things. And they were priceless. I can hear his voice when I read his words. And while my children will never meet him, never hear him, they will know him. The essence of his life is in those books. My father has recently started writing things down. In my opinion, he edits too much. It's not because he's worried what people will think when he's gone (he'll tell you to your face what he doesn't like about you), he just doesn't think it's at all important. It's hard to get him to understand, it is very important. I gave him a voice recorder so he could tell his stories in a free flowing way. That way he doesn't have to think, just talk. And those stories can be saved and played back after he is gone. No one tells his story like he does, and it'd be great to keep that alive. Whether he's using it or not, I have no idea. I don't pester him. It has to be something he wants to do.

The records of our life go beyond us, of course. You've been researching your family and there is a lot of detail that may be lost if it's not organised properly. How is your organisation? Do you have your photos labelled with who is in them and when they were taken? Are your sources documented so people know what you have found and where you have looked? If you handed over everything you have today to someone else, can they follow your lead? Do you have your passwords for your membership sites listed so they can access your information when you are gone? If you can't answer these questions with a sense of security that your passing will not mean a loss of all that you've spent your time on, then you need to get cracking! Don't expect to live, or be able to research, forever. Eventually you will have to pass the torch on to someone else. And don't hoard what you find. Share it with anyone in your family that's interested. Start grooming your "successor" while you're still around to insure they'll not screw up all your hard work.

I know one day, Crystal's youngest son may ask questions about a mother he barely had time to know. I deeply regret that I know he won't get those answers from me. I mourn the fact that some answers will never be given, as no one alive knows them. It's hard to believe that we would have to be diligent about documenting the life of such a young woman. I honestly thought that I could always catch up with her later, even if that was decades from now. That chance will never come for me. Don't let that chance pass your family by.

-Ana

Share and Share Alike

I can tell you I troll a few Facebook communities and genealogy forums and I watch what people are saying. One thing that has come up quite often on Ancestry's Facebook page is whether or not to make a tree "public" or "private". And since I was trapped this weekend at a relative's house looking through all her old photos, and the repercussions that followed, I got to thinking.

First, the weekend's conversation (in short form):

Me: Aunty, I've been looking for birth records on Great Uncle RumRunner and I can't seem to find them. Do you have a copy or know more about him?

Aunt Kooky: Well he was adopted. But that still means he's family.

Me: Of course he is. Did he know he was adopted? Do we know his birth relatives? Just for history's sake, really. It's not about him not being family, but maybe his kids will one day want to know about it and adoptions are hard to trace.

Aunt Kooky: Oh, well, yes he knew. Uncle RumRunner was the son of Great Grandma's first marriage. Grandpa adopted him when he was three. But you can't put that on your tree. I know you have a public tree on Ancestry and he might see it and feel like he's singled out.

Me: Uh, okay. Well it's not exactly how the tree works. *Explains how I can set Great Grandpa as "preferred" parent and being a public tree just means that if his "real" father had more kids, we may connect with some half-siblings and cousins, "and isn't that exciting?"*

Aunt Kooky: Oh well that makes sense. Here's photos of his real father and Great Grandmother. You can share those on your tree now that I am understanding it a bit more.

----

Me: Oh make me copies of these family reunion photos please!!!!

Cousin Helpful: No problem, I have a scanner and I'll make you a file to take to your computer. Let's spend the next several hours noting who is in each and every shot.

Me: Well if we're on the computer, let's add them to my facebook for the family!

Cousin: Splendid idea!!!!

----

*Phone rings early next morning*

Aunt Overreactive: HOW DARE YOU PUT PHOTOS OF ME ON THE INTERNET! I DON'T WANT ANY PICTURES OF ME ANYWHERE AND YOU WILL TAKE THEM DOWN RIGHT NOW!

Me: *half joking* Who is this?

Aunt Overreactive: I don't like my information just floating in the ether of the internet! I know your Facebook is friends only, but once something is on the internet, it never comes off. Dateline told me so! Now get up and get rid of those pictures before they're cached or something! And say hi to your dad when you see him Sunday.

*Not wanting to get into the "If you're worried about privacy, why do you have a Facebook account, I go to the computer to comply with her request*

Me: Well, golly, did every one of her kids have to email me about removing their mother from my pictures???? And there's an email from Cousin Somewhat Related saying some of the older photos are copies he gave to my cousin and didn't want them shared online........crap on a cracker.

Now, this is very truncated from the whole three days I spent with family trying to whittle information and photos out of them, but it seemed to really bring home some points people were making on the forums. Once something is on the internet or in someone else's hands, how much control do you have over anything? I've seen many complaints by people who's information and photos have been attached erroneously to someone not even related to them in another tree. They bemoan the heartache of their family member being used so unjustly. Their request to have the error fixed goes unanswered. There are those who have private trees specifically to protect the privacy of their relatives and they share only upon request. And what happens? Much to their horror, someone adds their private information on a public tree!!!! "I asked them not to share it and they did anyway!" Again, their request to rectify the mistakes goes unheeded. The weird one is the people with public trees that want to make it so private trees can't save their information. Why? "Because if they aren't sharing, I don't want to share with them." Really?

A note on the types of trees:

When you use Ancestry.com as a place for your tree online, you have three options:

1. The public tree. All that you add will be searchable. People, stories, photos, news articles.... all of it is available and anyone can find it and attach it to their tree. I use public trees. I want to help others by making the information easier to find and hopefully connect with another relation that may have different pieces of our collective puzzle.

2. Private, searchable tree. This means that when someone searches for information about their relative, they'll see a connection to your tree, photos or stories, but won't see the actual information. They'll need to contact you to get it. This is for those people who for whatever reason don't want the stuff just floating around, but feel they should be willing to share with a legitimate relative.

3. Private, unsearchable. This means that it won't show up in searches and no one knows it's there unless you tell them it is. This is a good option for those worried about privacy or if they know their information may be filled with errors and they want to correct them before compounding the problem by sharing the information.

There are many reasons why someone would want to privatise their information. A belief in personal privacy is the biggest. Wanting to share information with legitimate family or serious researchers is another big one. People who have just started (or have little information to share) may not want a public tree until they've gotten used to the system. They don't want to add to the myriad of already incorrect trees. On the other hand, sometimes a well-seasoned researcher can make someone feel awfully low for being wrong. Newbies are sensitive, sometimes overly so, and they take it as a personal attack when someone else is trying to be helpful by reminding them to check their work. So they hide until they have the confidence to jump into "the big leagues". These are just a few of the more often cited reasons I've seen, there are more I'm sure. And not everyone who makes a private tree is unwilling to share..... they just want to be asked first.

When it comes to what you pick for yourself, it's just preference. Now, I'm going to say this and take it how you like, but- no matter how "private" you make your information, it is on the internet and stored in someone else's server. If you truly do not want something to get out of your control, DON'T PUT IT ON THE INTERNET. While Ancestry and many sites like it are very secure, you are accepting a level of risk by putting it out of your hands and into the web. I don't put anything out that I don't mind people finding and as such, I have had only one private tree. When I got a GEDCOM from an Uncle, I privatised it simply because I didn't know what he had. What he had was a load of errors. I've since added much of that tree to my public ones and I am slowly pulling it apart one person at a time. I have connected with a few private tree members and follow their wishes to keep their information off my tree. That stuff is saved on my computer or printed out. It makes my organisation a bit harder, but that's the agreement. More often than not, however, the private tree member has no problem with me adding it to my public tree if I cite where I got the record properly.

Now, when it comes to what other's choose to do with their tree, and this is important.....You have zero control.  I've found that most public member trees are ran by those with an altruistic approach to genealogy. They figure why make someone hunt it down if they've already done the legwork and can help. That's awful nice of them, and they usually understand that that means it'll not always be reciprocated. They may connect to someone who has less than they do, or is unwilling to share what they have. People may abuse their generosity and connect it to the wrong people on accident or purpose. Sometimes they express frustration, like private tree owners, that they message a member and get no response (or a rude one). But what can you do? Maybe the other person is no longer using Ancestry. The information doesn't get deleted, so it's out there forever. Maybe they don't want to connect to other people. Or maybe they aren't actively checking that branch or person and are engrossed in fact-finding elsewhere on their tree. It's on their "things to do", but just not "to do right now". Or maybe they are really that silly and believe that they have all the proof they need to make their case that their tree is right and your's is wrong. (Isn't everyone able to find their royal connections within the free 14 day trial?)

Whatever the case, trying to change them is like trying to scream at the wind. It'll do what it's going to do and all you get is high blood pressure and a sore throat. With that, I conclude by asking that you always try to see the other side's view and collaborate rather than contaminate. We are all at different levels of expertise and everyone needs a helping hand. Respect the wishes of your contributors and family on private matters, but also remember that privacy means different things to different people. I've learned my lesson on this one. I've asked permission from my relatives to make the information I'm given public. We also have an understanding that anything that should be kept "private" will be, as long as they tell me. I've taken the time this last weekend to explain to those concerned just what I am putting up there. I even invited a few of them to the tree and helped them set up their account to view it. And Cousin Somewhat Related gave me a happy email on Sunday with all the permissions I needed to have his photos.....for which I traded several family recipes and the promise to visit him soon.

-Ana

How to Use Someone Else's Research

As you start to gather information on your family, you'll find many avenues to follow. While records like birth, death and marriage certificates, population censuses and church records will give you some degree of accuracy, there are those other sources:

Other Family Members
Your great aunt has been doing research on the family tree for 40 years; or maybe a cousin is compiling a book listing your family back to Moses. The thing is, they may have loads of time put in and proof, but it may all be wrong. When I told my family I was interested in their information, my aunt claimed to have loads. On a computer. In her garage. Somewhere. The best I was able to get from her was an unsourced family GEDCOM (GEnealogical Data COMmunication file) taking us to A.D. 1430 on one side and A.D. 1670 on another. Which is fantastic, but without sources, I'm forced to ask where she got the information. How does she KNOW those are our relatives? What proof does she have that these people existed? Oh right, it's on her old computer. In her garage. Somewhere. My Great Uncle gave me another GEDCOM from his 30 years of research with some sources, but some leaps of faith it seems too. He had relatives listed twice, sometimes with different parents. How had he not noticed that? My cousin had proof of our Native American line..... as long as our great great grandmother's father was born after she died..... oops.

Not that there isn't information to be had here, but it's not Gospel. I'm pretty sure they know the names of their cousins, neices and nephews. They may know some distant relatives that lived in or around their lifetime. However, without outside sourcing to back it up, linking yourself to these trees should be done with caution. They are excellent places to start, but you will have to do some work to clean them up. I have one tree I have for all my factual (official records) sources that only get a relative added to it if I can prove it. That's my end result tree. But I have these other trees that I'm sure are full of errors. I comb through each generation, person by person. Sometimes I've proven the link, sometimes I've had to remove a person or two (or ten). But often I use these trees just as a way to jump start my research. My father spent years calling various court houses and historical societies in Texas looking for any record of his grandmother's birth. After I found a Census showing her birthplace as Missouri, we were able to track her down to a little town called Texas, Missouri..... I don't think my dad's stopped laughing about that yet.

Online Family Trees
We live in a glorious age when you don't have to travel the world and spend years pawing through dusty file cabinets to find a possible match to your ancestor. Nor spend your life calling government, church and historical societies until you are broke financially and emotionally. When my father was working on the family tree, he'd spend vacations driving to other states to hopefully find one shred of evidence that his grandparents existed. I go online and within a month I have every U.S. Census they were in listing their birth places and children. He was jealous to say the least.

But along with all this plethora of digitised official documentation, there is also the online family trees. Just like the research your relatives have done, these may be well crafted, documented treasure troves. Or they are trash heaps of ineptitude. If anything can be learned from Ancestry.com's commericals, it's that most people want to be related to someone famous for something, a royal, or a unique individual that will be impressive to other people. It's not impossible to trace your family back to the beginning of time, it's just not probable. Prior to the 18th century, churches were your best source for family history. But the problem was that they had a great tendency to burn down. Royals keep great records, but they also tend to marry in close circles that the common man is unlikely to have broken into. So just like with your family's research, you can use what you find, but double check it. When you come to a conflict, keep an open mind and work both angles until you can prove one over the other. And remember, your relatives don't have to be special to the world to be special to you.

Vanity Genealogies
Now you've checked over all the data your family had. You've plucked carefully through online sources compiled by amateurs. Now, you've found the holy Grail.... a professionally documented genealogy. Uh....

Gustave Anjou, Orra E. Monnette, C. A. Hoppin, Horatio Gates Somersby, Charles H. Browning,  John S. Wurts and Frederick A. Virkus are some well-known con-men who created hundreds of false genealogies. And there are more "genealogists" that if not intentionally lying, they were obscenely inefficient in their research. As long as someone was willing to pay a good fee (Anjou would receive $9,000 for his work), they would provide a coat of arms, royal lineage, famous relatives.... anything to please the client. These were even more insidious when they would actually include a real document with facts and then add their own corroborating document they had falsified to make a connection. People were fooled for years! So if you find a book of your family, check the author. Then check their sources. And keep your mind open.

Have you ever received an email from Nigeria saying you are the last relative of a dead businessman who's money amounts to the millions? It's easy to claim this money. All you do is send this lawyer a fee of a couple grand and he will be able to provide the documents to prove your legitimacy and release the money to you. Surprisingly, this isn't new. A hundred years ago, fraudsters used to put these in the paper asking for someone to come forward as the heir to a contested fortune that didn't exist. People would naturally reply hoping to make a quick buck. These con-men would then ask for a fee to provide documents and legal help, sometimes encouraging whole families to chip in to be part of a membership of "heirs" fighting for their estates. Con-artists don't change their game, they just use better tools. If you find mention of a lost family fortune in your searches, be ready to find out your family was bamboozled.

So in the end.....
Spend time on any message board, forum or Facebook page about genealogy and you will see people that have thousands of family names on their tree. They can trace themselves to Charlemagne or Pontius Pilate or Adam himself. Their great great grandmother was an Indian princess (more on that one in another post!). They are distant cousins to dozens of famous people.

These people may be right, but the probabilities aren't on their side. Most people will get stuck in the 1800's when censuses didn't list everyone, just the head of the household. Churches, hospitals, city halls, libraries all burn down and lose centuries of records that were only kept there. False records abound; if you're willing to pay for proof, there's someone willing to make it for you. Even people who've been looking for years may still be stuck on this side of the ocean simply because they can't find any record of their founding ancestor's arrival and thus can't find where they departed. Europe has been a hotbed of wars that span years, decades or centuries destroying entire towns and all that they recorded. I have photos of my grandfather in France during WWII standing next to the rubble that once was a church. I've thought many times about who's history was lost that day. If not properly stored, documents can simply deteriorate. Like Dr. Who. I'm a huge fan of the show. However, because the BBC didn't properly store the film from the first two seasons, most of the episodes are lost to us, never to be seen again. Imagine what we've lost from documentaries and photos made in the early days of film. Lost, lost, lost.

And people lie. A family member looking for a new start or running from something shameful may have changed their name. My maternal grandmother's family has Jewish roots that to this day the older generations won't talk about for fear of persecution. My paternal grandmother used to yell at my father when he was a child if he "acted like an Indian" when he played, because racism against Natives was so strong when she was growing up. It was a point of pride to her to be able to pass for White. It was common to claim the child of your unmarried underaged daughter as your own rather than face familial shame. A man could have two families. Adoption can muddy your waters, especially if the family couldn't afford to make it official. Every now and again I lie awake wondering about all the people in Witness Protection....... what hurdles lay in front of their descendants????

You don't need to find a famous person to have an interesting tree. It may seem exciting to find these bright shining stars in your family history, but genealogy isn't a road to travel while you point out the landmarks. It doesn't matter if you find something interesting to someone else. Your family may toil in the background of world history, but they lived and that is the important part. Your unique family history is a tapestry of interwoven lives; vibrant colour and story all it's own. It's a panoramic landscape full of beauty and character. While you admire the sky and count the stars, I'll admire the land and take care of the roots.

-Ana

Interviewing Relatives

Now that you've gathered all you know, it's time to talk to your family. This can be done in one of two ways:

Casually

In a casual conversation, you can get a lot of random bits of information. I've found this is a good way to talk to older relatives that just don't have a linear thought process. It's also best for anyone uncomfortable with the idea of "interrogating" their relatives. You've really spent most of your life using this kind of process to learn about your family, you've just never cared to listen as much as you do now. Easiest way to start this conversation is just to say, "Hey, relative, I've been doing some research on the family tree and I was wondering if you had any photos or stories I could get." People love telling stories. Now, this approach means you'll get plenty of bull along with the truth, but the stories are important. Ever since Man had a history, he's wanted to tell someone about it hoping they'll pass it on. The bulk of human history has been oral; it's a time honored tradition. Now, some genealogists write these stories down from memory, I prefer using a voice recorder. First, I don't forget the details. Second, I find it a great addition to the media for my tree to have the actual story teller. I used this one with my dad, just told him I wondered about all the photos on the wall and he started talking. Pointed out his paternal grandmother with her five sisters, his cousins, his mother as a young (and very beautiful) woman. He told me stories of his childhood like digging out from a bad Chicago snow storm and who his best friends in high school were. And the stories of the Navy that I'd heard a hundred times, but now put more stock into. The way he tells some of these funny and touching stories would be lost to anyone I told them to. So now, I play back the recording and people laugh and say "God, no one tells it like Lou!"- and ain't that the truth. And the thought that great great grandchildren, who will never have a chance to meet my father will still hear the story straight from the horse's mouth is a beautiful thing.... While I did get a bit of "sure that happened", I did end up with one little gem that could help me later. It seems my Great Grandmother may not have been married to her husband when she had my Grandfather. And that it may have been her sister who introduced the two for the specific purpose of marrying off an unwed mother.... to her husband's cousin. So we're still blood, but not to Great Grandpa, maybe. Again, grain of salt. This was something he heard as a small boy and people didn't talk about that sort of thing loudly. He may have misheard...... or not. So that gets a note with a star to keep an eye out. Dad didn't know which sister was married to Great Grandpa's cousin, and he may have been a brother, he was confused. But it's a step in the right direction on an otherwise dead end. We never really talked to grandpa about his family. He didn't like his mother and definitely hated his, uh, "father". And now that he is gone, dad is the oldest living relative I can ask about it.

Another way to start this is to just say you are working on the family tree and want to know what they know. You'll get "oh, I don't know much.", so this start takes a little more than asking dad to tell you his football stories again, but you get better traction as far as direction. This worked with my maternal grandmother. I asked her for what she knew, she said nothing. I said, "Well, I'm coming over Thursday. Crack out the photo albums and we'll start there." And what did I get? Both her parents had previous marriages and children. Got their names, though she couldn't remember birthdays. Then she told me her first husband's name (I knew she had been married with three kids, but didn't know his name). That was like pulling teeth, because she didn't think it was important. Maybe, maybe not. While the first husband doesn't matter, it's a part of my grandmother's life. And that's as precious as platinum to me. My great find here? Oh so many. My Great Grandmother was Lithuanian descent, Scottish born. She had at least two brothers and a sister. One brother stayed in Scotland and his family is still there. The other siblings came to the States prior to Great Grandma. Oh and one of my Great Uncles has been working on the family line of Great Grandpa, would I like his email? Are you for real, old woman?????

Above all else, remember not to throttle your relatives. They just don't know any better.

The point of a casual conversation is to just let it flow. Get what you can and make frequent visits. Above all else, cherish the moment. You are making a memory that you can pass on in your own time.

Interview

Interview works well if you have a list of questions that you need to answer, or your relative is a more to the point kind of person. To be honest, this is more my style. I am a list maker, and a bit of a straight forward gal, so I really feel comfortable with just asking relatives about names and dates. This is best if you make a list of questions first. I've made a page of starter questions to help you above. Add to these as you see fit. When interviewing, if it helps, imagine yourself as a bit of a reporter talking to a politician or celebrity. You want to get the real scoop! How old are they? Where were they born? Where did they grow up? What were their parents like? Did they have siblings? What kind of work were they in before now? Were they in the military? Inquiring minds want to know!!!!!

Not everyone can answer all the questions you have, but that's okay. And some people are just unreliable for "facts". And that's okay too. Like any good reporter, you should always check your sources! I used this style for my mother and an aunt. I already had a bit of information, so I had specific questions. I asked mom for all the birthdays, because she's usually the one sending out cards. She had alot of them, but my family is big and cousins are prolific. So I'll have to hunt many of them down and ask them about themselves and their kids...... My aunt was a bit of a dry spot. She had been doing tree research, but she couldn't remember where any of her notes were. Best I got from her was an old page her and a second cousin had put together online with her father's tree back to the first settler. It was a start, albeit an incomplete and a little out of date start.

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Always remember to be sensitive to your relative's emotional state. You may unwittingly bring up a bad memory they can't deal with. Move on from it. And there is always the generational gap. Some relatives will find things too scandalous to talk about, like a bastard child or jailbird uncle. And be ready for some strange concerns. I have one aunt who requested I put no pictures of her online on my tree, because she doesn't want "just anyone getting those". That's simple enough, I honestly don't think she's even sat for a photo since she was a child. Grandma asked that my family tree not separate her first three children out, because grandpa had indeed adopted them and they were family. Well, yeah they're family. I tried to explain that adoptive parents show as primary on my online tree and that I only wanted her first husband's name for looking up records, but she was seriously worried that three of my relatives would feel slighted by being reminded they were adopted. I guess never mind the aunt from grandpa's first marriage, right? People can be weird sometimes.

- Ana